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proofofely

✎ 2 245 100 ⏷ NEW COMMENTS
Sep 02
samitch
on DATE OF DEATH
Mission Complete
Jul 31
goldegg 3x
on DATE OF DEATH
Congrats Ely! You have achieved what nobody has ever achieved before. 💯 mints is epic!

And Seize, you will always be #1 in my book. 🖕🏼
Jul 31
ludus
on DATE OF DEATH
On this, the final day, I give great thanks to the maestro Ely, and to the best jousting partner a guy could ask for, Paul. Your wordplay is second only to your magnanimous kindness!
Jul 30
ludus
on PENULTIMATE
Paul pointed out that there are SO many more things to make fun of him for, beyond his sexual inadequacy... like his moral failings, his rampant degenerate behavior, his social ineptitude, and his all-around grossness. I humbly submit these items now for public consideration.
Jul 30
goldegg 3x
on PENULTIMATE
I got 99 problems... and Seize is 98 of them
Jul 24
samitch
on AURA
I’m feeling it now Mr. Krabs
Jul 24
goldegg 3x
on AURA
Seize's aura invokes the smell & feel of Amber Heard's mattress
Jul 24
ludus
on AURA
"Can you feel it?" <--- Paul's version of dirty talk.
Jul 16
ludus
on RECOVERY
I'll never recover... from these DOPE BEATS. (And Paul's relentless affection.)
Jul 16
goldegg 3x
on RECOVERY
I will never recover from this Frequencies campaign. 100 days of being mogged by Seize is too much for any mere mortal to withstand.
Jul 15
goldegg 3x
on LAST CALL
Whenever I need advice, I call those I know in order of intelligence. Seize is always the Last Call.
Jul 15
samitch
on LAST CALL
Huller?
Jul 15
ludus
on LAST CALL
More like... LAST PAUL, amiright????
Jul 05
goldegg 3x
on PUDGY SUMMER
I am going to miss Seize after this collection mints out. And by "miss", I mean I will go out of my way to avoid him at every opportunity.
Jul 05
ludus
on PUDGY SUMMER
Or as Paul calls it, "summer."
Jun 28
ludus
on SEIZING APOSTLE PAUL
...Paul, you know me. We're friends. We've been fighting for 93 days.
Jun 28
goldegg 3x
on SEIZING APOSTLE PAUL
Seize who?
Jun 28
ludus
on SEIZING APOSTLE PAUL
A towering soundtrack to an intractable, invigorating Hundred Day War. Heroes are only as strong as their Villains... so I thank you, Paul, for your relentless (if limpid) mustache-twirling.
Jun 27
goldegg 3x
on WHAT A BLAST
farming Blast was fun, but not as fun as minting here daily and seeing Seize obsess over my sex life (or lack thereof)
Jun 27
ludus
on WHAT A BLAST
Paul had a blast once. It took FAR less than 120 faps per second.
Jun 25
0xeac0
on BREEZE
Keep the VIBES up!
Jun 25
ludus
on GUMMY
"Small and Gummy" - How Paul's ex described him.
Jun 25
goldegg 3x
on GUMMY
Seize once lost a fight with a bear. A gummy bear. (ba-dum-tss)
Jun 23
goldegg 3x
on NIGHT DRIVE
I drive just like I drink. Alone. And dangerously.
Jun 23
ludus
on NIGHT DRIVE
Solo drives are Paul's main mode of transportation.
Jun 20
goldegg 3x
on BREEZE
there is nothing better than traveling at a decent speed, knowing that with each passing moment you are getting farther and farther away from Seize
Jun 20
ludus
on BREEZE
AKA - Lawd, is Paul talking AGAIN?
Jun 19
goldegg 3x
on GIGANTIC REBIRTH
Let's all hope Seize does not have a rebirth. His being born once was already one too many times.
Jun 19
ludus
on GIGANTIC REBIRTH
If only Paul would have a rebirth... into a non-cuck.
Jun 18
0x2654
on NUB
sup
Jun 18
goldegg 3x
on NUB
way too easy, I'll pass on calling a NUB a NUB
Jun 18
ludus
on NUB 
...this one is far too easy. 

Webster's Dictionary: Nub (n.) - Paul's dingus.
Jun 17
ludus
on ENERGY
Paul's version of "energy" is two Snickers bars, a box of apple juice, and any vague compliment from a solid 4/10.
Jun 17
goldegg 3x
on ENERGY
"Can You Feel It?" is a question Seize learned long ago that he should never ask his partners.
Jun 14
ludus
on REVERT
...that's one "P" away from what Paulie's deddy's frens used ta call 'im. GET OVER HERE, YA PREVERT.
Jun 14
goldegg 3x
on REVERT
Seize's "old ways" involve: stealing toys from orphanages, rooting for the hunters in Bambi, and wiping back to front.
Jun 13
goldegg 3x
on SNAKES IN THE GRASS
Seize is more dangerous than a snake. But not as pretty.
Jun 13
ludus
on SNAKES IN THE GRASS
FINALLY, a song dedicated to Paul.
Jun 11
ludus
on PANIC SELL
For Paul, it's been over for years.
Jun 11
goldegg 3x
on PANIC SELL
I panic HODL
Jun 11
goldegg 3x
on SHERBERT
As a little kid, I loved orange sherbert. That's it. No punchline. No follow up. I just liked it.
Jun 11
ludus
on SHERBERT 
You know what's sweet? Like, *really* sweet? 
Paul.

xoxo,
Seize
Jun 10
goldegg 3x
on ELEMENTS
"No Air" - what teammates of Seize say when they see his lack of vert
Jun 10
ludus
on ELEMENTS
"No Air" -- What Paul's parents hoped for in a daycare.
Jun 08
goldegg 3x
on EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE
Seize would never Pay In Full. In fact he goes to KFC to lick other people's fingers. And when it is cold he huddles around a candle. If it's really cold, he might even light the candle. Yeah, Seize is cheap AF.
Jun 08
ludus
on EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE
I tried to exchange Paul for something better. They said the exchange rate was them paying me to keep him.
Jun 06
ludus
on CROOKED TEETH
Paul's teeth are so yellow, when he smiles, cars slow down.
Jun 06
goldegg 3x
on CROOKED TEETH
I warned Seize previously about eating cabbage through that chain-link fence. One day he will listen to good advice.
Jun 05
ludus
on HEAVEN OR HELL
Easy choice: I follow Paul for eternity.
Jun 05
goldegg 3x
on HEAVEN OR HELL
Easy choice: I choose the one without Seize
Jun 05
goldegg 3x
on FINISH LINE
Seize was excited he could finish the puzzle in 2 days. The box said 3 - 5 years!
Jun 04
ludus
on FINISH LINE
If you're not first... you're Paul.
Jun 03
goldegg 3x
on BLOCKED
"BLOCKED" = what happens to Seize after he sends unsolicited DMs to females
Jun 03
ludus
on BLOCKED
I've been trying to block Paul since the BTC whitepaper came out.
May 30
goldegg 3x
on FOR THE RECORD
Seize has the imagination of a child. And the IQ of a child as well.
May 30
ludus
on FOR THE RECORD
In Paul's greatest imagination, he dreams he's Ely.
May 30
ludus
on SHINE
Every time Paul smiles, somewhere, a baby dies.
May 30
goldegg 3x
on SHINE
When Seize smiles it looks like he is about to eat a cabbage through a chainlink fence.
May 29
ludus
on SIMP
"Paul"
May 29
goldegg 3x
on SIMP
Don't underestimate Seize's ability to simp. They don't call him the whiteknight incel for nothing.
May 28
ludus
on CLOUT
Paul is the Caitlyn Jenner of clout.
May 28
goldegg 3x
on CLOUT
No clout + no rizz = bussy Seize
May 28
ludus
on PUMP DOT FUN
Yeah, WTF bro?? More like Pump Dot MISS A DAY.
May 28
goldegg 3x
on PUMP DOT FUN
Today's comment is dedicated to Ely missing yesterday. WTF bro?
May 26
goldegg 3x
on LOUNGE
I honestly wish nothing but the best for Seize. Sadly, God had other ideas.
May 25
ludus
on LOUNGE
Resting is Paul's natural state. It's standing up that's the problem.
May 25
ludus
on FRESH START
How many fresh starts does Paul need? One for every day of his life.
May 25
goldegg 3x
on FRESH START
Seize is scared of two things: Lights and People
May 24
ludus
on STRUM
Paul's acoustic, I'm electric, baby.
May 24
goldegg 3x
on STRUM
Seize is tone deaf
May 22
goldegg 3x
on SWERVING
Seize doesn't really "lose control" ...but rather he just starts involuntarily slobbering with his mouth agape
May 22
ludus
on SWERVING
Paul's at his worst when he "has control."
May 22
ludus
on LEARN 2 LOVE AGAIN
...don't use numbers in place of words, please. Paul gets confused.
May 21
goldegg 3x
on LEARN 2 LOVE AGAIN
Seize is scarred in more ways than you could ever imagine. I pray for him daily.
May 21
ludus
on JOURNAL ENTRY #1
"Dear Diary, today I found my pee pee." -Paul
May 21
goldegg 3x
on JOURNAL ENTRY #1
Seize has a journal to record all of his sexual encounters. Hopefully one day he will be able to start writing in it.
May 20
ludus
on RAINBOW ROAD
Paul is the only person to get rugged while finding the end of a rainbow. No pot of gold, only a pot of SHAME.
May 19
goldegg 3x
on RAINBOW ROAD 120 fps
I would never waste a Blue shell on Seize, regardless of the track.
May 19
goldegg 3x
on BEHOLDER
In the land of the blind, Seize was voted most beautiful.
May 19
ludus
on BEHOLDER
In Paul's case, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... cause you gotta be DRUNK ASS to think he's pretty.
May 17
goldegg 3x
on TRUST ISSUES
There's only one thing in life that I trust 100%, and that is that Seize will be a disappointment to anyone and everyone.
May 17
ludus
on TRUST ISSUES
If there's one thing Paul has created in me, it's Trust Issues.
May 16
goldegg 3x
on HEADS UP
The Star Wars character Jar Jar Binks was based in large part on Seize. George Lucas had once bumped into him on the street, where Seize was begging randos for spare change. Seize's appearance and speaking mannerisms left a lasting impression.
May 16
ludus
on HEADS UP
Heads, Paul is a dork. Tails, Paul is a dork.
May 15
goldegg 3x
on ZORB
there's nothing more VALUABLE than bring FREE of Seize
May 15
ludus
on ZORB
Paul thinks Star Wars Episode One is the best Star Wars movie.
May 14
goldegg 3x
on PUMP CYCLE
Seize's pump cycle is exactly 4 hours. 30 minutes for the little blue pill to take effect. And 3.5 hours at the ER describing to the nurses that he really did meet a girl online even though she never showed up.
May 14
ludus
on PUMP CYCLE
Paul's pump cycle is every 5-7 years or so.
May 13
ludus
on ROARING KITTY
Paul's life goal is to make a kitty roar. Or even meow. Or even to see a kitty.
May 13
goldegg 3x
on ROARING KITTY
Seize thinks Keith Gill was a founding member of New Edition
May 13
goldegg 3x
on A MOTHER'S TOUCH
Seize is the biggest Mother I know
May 13
ludus
on A MOTHER'S TOUCH 
Paul's mom is SO DUMB...

She gave birth to Paul. 

::rim shot::
May 11
goldegg 3x
on WARP
While Seize is correct about the nickname my partners have given me, it completely ignores the fact that my partners are real, unpaid, consenting, and are not my relatives. Sadly, Seize cannot say the same.
May 11
ludus
on WARP
"Warp Speed" -- the nickname given to Paul by all of his sexual partners.
May 11
ludus
on DRILL
...wait, IS it a drill? Paul's acting like it's not a drill, but I thought it was a drill. Also, where's my frontal lobe?
May 11
goldegg 3x
on DRILL
"THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" - the exact phrase used during Seize's court-ordered, childhood monthly visits to the lobotomist.
May 10
ludus
on RGB
My favorite color is Corduroy.
May 10
soondooboop
on RGB
100000 $ENJOY
May 09
goldegg 3x
on RGB
Seize's favorite color is Corduroy
May 08
ludus
on SIDE QUEST
"This wasn't planned" -- what is this? A QUOTE FROM PAUL'S MOM??
May 08
goldegg 3x
on SIDE QUEST 
Seize's conception was a "Side Quest"

The mission was a total failure.
May 08
goldegg 3x
on FANTASY TOP
Seize sharing his fantasies on a Zora mint page is a desperate cry for help.
May 07
ludus
on FANTASY TOP
Paul's fantasy... isn't to be a top.
May 06
goldegg 3x
on WRAP BEEF
Seize is the Vanilla Ice to my NWA
May 06
ludus
on WRAP BEEF
Paul is the Drake to my Kendrick.
May 06
ludus
on CINCO
Paul tiene una cara como un pene y un pene como un caracol.
May 06
goldegg 3x
on CINCO
¡Salud!
May 05
goldegg 3x
on SN
Happy Saturday Night to Seize and his new love, Jenny Tulworts
May 05
ludus
on SN
Paul Sux Nutz
May 04
ludus
on AIR DROP
I’m gonna air drop Paul into a Volcano
May 04
goldegg 3x
on AIR DROP
Seize is my best friend.
May 03
gskrovina
on DEGEN Ⓓ
Minted With Jeeves :)
May 02
goldegg 3x
on VELVET
Seize's wardrobe is 100% velvet shirts and corduroy shorts. God bless him.
May 02
ludus
on VELVET
Paul's velvet gloves are crusty... they stink of tears, sweat, rejection, and buckets of self-loathing.
May 02
ludus
on TO THE MOON
The Moon = The one place where Paul might actually be the smartest person around.
May 02
goldegg 3x
on TO THE MOON
Let's send Seize to the moon. I'll pay for the one-way trip.
May 01
ludus
on E-MOTION
My mom didn't let me watch Bambi because we "weren't allowed to watch violent movies."
May 01
goldegg 3x
on E-MOTION
Seize laughed watching Bambi.
Apr 29
ludus
on LINK UP
Paul so dumb, he asked if I wanted to link down.
Apr 29
goldegg 3x
on LINK UP
No missing link jokes, no chained up insults... today is a day of peace. Love to all.
Apr 29
samitch
on LINK UP
Circles only
Apr 29
goldegg 3x
on HIGH ROAD
I have seen Seize take the high road many times. It's the path the Short Bus he is riding on takes every day. If you look closely enough, you most likely can see him licking the windows. They really should have him harnessed in for his own safety.
Apr 29
ludus
on HIGH ROAD
I'll accept today's song as a chance to take... you get it.
Apr 27
goldegg 3x
on TIME WILL TELL
Seize asked his doctor: "Will I always resemble the syphilitic aborted remains of a Mongolian gangbang?" To which the doctor replied, "TIME WILL TELL"
Apr 27
ludus
on TIME WILL TELL
Will Paul ever copulate?? #TimeWillTell
Apr 26
ludus
on TOUCH GRASS
::Paul rushes to remove the letters G and R from his vocabulary::
Apr 26
goldegg 3x
on TOUCH GRASS
When Seize touches grass, he first has to look around carefully to make sure Park security officers aren't in range of seeing him.
Apr 25
ludus
on STRING THEORY
In physics, string theory is a theoretical framework in which the point-like particles of particle physics are replaced by one-dimensional objects called strings.

Paul's junk is a one-dimensional object.
Apr 25
goldegg 3x
on STRING THEORY
String Theory, AKA the supposition that Seize can get an erection
Apr 25
ludus
on WISH YOU WELL
I wish Paul (would fall down a) well!
Apr 24
goldegg 3x
on WISH YOU WELL
I wish Seize well every chance I get. One of these days I hope it works.
Apr 24
goldegg 3x
on NEON DRIVE
Seize's obsession with my sexual activity is both interesting and disturbing. Which is the same way many people describe his overgrown back hair.
Apr 23
wakevault
on DEGEN Ⓓ
Minted With Jeeves :)
Apr 23
ludus
on NEON DRIVE
All Paul's "blasts" are in the past, now. RIP Paul's sexual escapades.
Apr 22
goldegg 3x
on BET ON ME
Rip from Yellowstone? He's a cool dude. Unlike Jamie, the guy Seize models himself after.
Apr 22
crankitup
on THE HALVING
Crank It Up
Apr 22
0xdeb5
on THE HALVING
Definitely…
Apr 22
entrism36
on THE HALVING
36crew
Apr 22
ludus
on BET ON ME
Someone bet on Paul once... RIP, that guy.
Apr 21
goldegg 3x
on COFFEE BREAK
To Seize, a coffee break is that period of the work day where his lack of production is actually justified.
Apr 21
ludus
on COFFEE BREAK
"Coffee Break" is what Paul's romantic partners ask for every time he gets... amorous.
Apr 21
ludus
on THE HALVING
"Halving" is what Paul's doctor recommended for his BMI.
Apr 20
goldegg 3x
on THE HALVING
"The Halving" is what they call the night Seize ate his Conjoined twin while still in the womb.
Apr 20
wakevault
on DEGEN Ⓓ
Minted With Jeeves :)
Apr 19
goldegg 3x
on FIGHT NIGHT
"Fight Night," aka, "Seize's struggle to have a successful Fap evening"
Apr 19
ludus
on FIGHT NIGHT
"Fight Night," aka, "Paul's name for first dates."
Apr 19
goldegg 3x
on HIGH HOPES
Every time Seize attacks me a dolphin in heaven gets their angel wings
Apr 19
ludus
on HIGH HOPES
The closest Paul ever got to High Hopes was not belly-flopping the one meter diving board.
Apr 18
ludus
on SERUM
Paul drank a mutant serum once... it made him far better looking.
Apr 18
goldegg 3x
on SERUM
Seize thought a vegetarian was a vegetable doctor.
Apr 16
ludus
on LIQUIDITY CRISIS
"Liquidity Crisis" is what Paul's girlfriend had.
Apr 16
goldegg 3x
on LIQUIDITY CRISIS
If ignorance is bliss, Seize must be overjoyed.
Apr 16
goldegg 3x
on THE VAULT
Seize’s spirit animal is a fat raccoon trying to get inside a dumpster.
Apr 16
ludus
on THE VAULT
The vault is what Paul calls his pants… because nothing ever gets in there.
Apr 14
ludus
on FACE OFF
Paul is far more "cow" than "bull."
Apr 14
goldegg 3x
on FACE OFF
Seize has a lot of hidden talents. Hopefully one day he will be able to find them.
Apr 13
goldegg 3x
on BLOOD IN THE STREETS
Statistically speaking, Seize was probably born on a highway. Because that's where most accidents happen.
Apr 13
ludus
on BLOOD IN THE STREETS
Paul's sperm count is a negative number.
Apr 12
goldegg 3x
on KISS ME
Seize still roots for OJ Simpson.
Apr 12
ludus
on KISS ME
Paul has four toes on his left foot.
Apr 11
goldegg 3x
on RUNESTONE
I would tell a few jokes about Seize's career, but none of them work well.
Apr 11
ludus
on RUNESTONE
Paul is the Rat Queen.
Apr 10
goldegg 3x
on PACMOON
Seize doesnt play PacMan because he is too scared of ghosts
Apr 10
ludus
on PACMOON
Paul = half-vowel, half-consonant... all man.
Apr 10
awolfee
on RIPPLE EFFECT
love & support from your miami web3 fam ❤️🌴
Apr 10
ludus
on RIPPLE EFFECT
Paul thinks Jack in the Box tacos count as Mexican food.
Apr 09
goldegg 3x
on RIPPLE EFFECT
Seize is the reason Taco Bell discontinued the Mexi-Nuggets menu item.
Apr 08
ludus
on ECLIPSE
Paul was my personal savior on the road to Damascus.
Apr 08
goldegg 3x
on ECLIPSE
Hi
Apr 07
goldegg 3x
on MOGMELLO
Contrary to popular belief, Seize does not suffer from insanity. He enjoys every second of it.
Apr 07
ludus
on MOGMELLO
Paul is Zaddy.
Apr 06
goldegg 3x
on AFTERMATH
I once advised Seize to just be himself. I guess that was a pretty mean thing for me to say.
Apr 06
ludus
on AFTERMATH
On the 7th day, God didn't rest, he fine-tuned Paul.
Apr 06
ludus
on EARTHQUAKE
Truth be told, Paul is a far better version of me.
Apr 05
goldegg
on EARTHQUAKE
Another day, another frequency!
Apr 04
ludus
on CHECK UP
BACK IN FULL EFFECT. Paul has revived my passion for the Rat King.
Apr 04
goldegg 3x
on CHECK UP
This will be my last comment until Seize comes out of hiding
Apr 04
ludus
on NEW YORK SAME ME
Paul is better than me… today.
Apr 03
goldegg 5x
on NEW YORK SAME ME
Today is Golden Egg day, and despite staring at his calendar non-stop - Seize still cant find it
Apr 03
arctek
on BASED
based
Apr 03
arctek
on SUPER CYCLE
better than the soup-only-cycle of 2022
Apr 02
ludus
on SLICE OF LIFE
...I found your mom's!
Apr 02
0x58d2 5x
on SLICE OF LIFE
April is national clitoris month, and despite looking at his calendar non-stop, Seize still can't find it.
Apr 02
arctek
on HIGHER
higher
Apr 01
0x58d2 5x
on SUPER CYCLE
I love Cheryl Hines
Apr 01
ludus
on SUPER CYCLE
Paul is the RFK Jr of web3.
Mar 31
ludus
on HABBITS
Paul likes cats.
Mar 31
0x58d2 5x
on HABBITS
Seize doesn't like puppies
Mar 30
ludus
on HIGHER
Paul measures his hundred meter dash in hours and his vertical in micrometers.
Mar 30
0x58d2 5x
on HIGHER
Seize dips his fries in pickle juice
Mar 29
0x58d2
on REFLECTION
it's true, I love cheese
Mar 29
ludus
on REFLECTION
Paul is a cheesemonger.
Mar 28
0x58d2 5x
on DEGEN Ⓓ
Seize has a tramp stamp inked on his left hand
Mar 27
ludus
on GRAPEFRUIT
Paul causes market crashes.
Mar 27
0x58d2 5x
on GRAPEFRUIT
Someday Seize will go far. And I really hope he stays there.
Mar 27
annoushka
on BASED
Based
Mar 26
samitch
on NEW SZN
I hope new szn doesn’t make me sneeze
Mar 26
ludus
on NEW SZN
Paul was birthed from the remnants of a well-used gym sock.
Mar 26
gaurang
on NEW SZN
NEW SZN - Change is the only Constant
Mar 26
0x58d2
on NEW SZN
Seize ate one of my fingers

✕
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