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ludus

✎ 99 0 0 ⏷ NEW COMMENTS
Jul 31
ludus
on DATE OF DEATH
On this, the final day, I give great thanks to the maestro Ely, and to the best jousting partner a guy could ask for, Paul. Your wordplay is second only to your magnanimous kindness!
Jul 30
ludus
on PENULTIMATE
Paul pointed out that there are SO many more things to make fun of him for, beyond his sexual inadequacy... like his moral failings, his rampant degenerate behavior, his social ineptitude, and his all-around grossness. I humbly submit these items now for public consideration.
Jul 24
ludus
on AURA
"Can you feel it?" <--- Paul's version of dirty talk.
Jul 16
ludus
on RECOVERY
I'll never recover... from these DOPE BEATS. (And Paul's relentless affection.)
Jul 15
ludus
on LAST CALL
More like... LAST PAUL, amiright????
Jul 05
ludus
on PUDGY SUMMER
Or as Paul calls it, "summer."
Jun 28
ludus
on SEIZING APOSTLE PAUL
...Paul, you know me. We're friends. We've been fighting for 93 days.
Jun 28
ludus
on SEIZING APOSTLE PAUL
A towering soundtrack to an intractable, invigorating Hundred Day War. Heroes are only as strong as their Villains... so I thank you, Paul, for your relentless (if limpid) mustache-twirling.
Jun 27
ludus
on WHAT A BLAST
Paul had a blast once. It took FAR less than 120 faps per second.
Jun 25
ludus
on GUMMY
"Small and Gummy" - How Paul's ex described him.
Jun 23
ludus
on NIGHT DRIVE
Solo drives are Paul's main mode of transportation.
Jun 20
ludus
on BREEZE
AKA - Lawd, is Paul talking AGAIN?
Jun 19
ludus
on GIGANTIC REBIRTH
If only Paul would have a rebirth... into a non-cuck.
Jun 18
ludus
on NUB 
...this one is far too easy. 

Webster's Dictionary: Nub (n.) - Paul's dingus.
Jun 17
ludus
on ENERGY
Paul's version of "energy" is two Snickers bars, a box of apple juice, and any vague compliment from a solid 4/10.
Jun 14
ludus
on REVERT
...that's one "P" away from what Paulie's deddy's frens used ta call 'im. GET OVER HERE, YA PREVERT.
Jun 13
ludus
on SNAKES IN THE GRASS
FINALLY, a song dedicated to Paul.
Jun 11
ludus
on PANIC SELL
For Paul, it's been over for years.
Jun 11
ludus
on SHERBERT 
You know what's sweet? Like, *really* sweet? 
Paul.

xoxo,
Seize
Jun 10
ludus
on ELEMENTS
"No Air" -- What Paul's parents hoped for in a daycare.
Jun 08
ludus
on EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE
I tried to exchange Paul for something better. They said the exchange rate was them paying me to keep him.
Jun 06
ludus
on CROOKED TEETH
Paul's teeth are so yellow, when he smiles, cars slow down.
Jun 05
ludus
on HEAVEN OR HELL
Easy choice: I follow Paul for eternity.
Jun 04
ludus
on FINISH LINE
If you're not first... you're Paul.
Jun 03
ludus
on BLOCKED
I've been trying to block Paul since the BTC whitepaper came out.
May 30
ludus
on FOR THE RECORD
In Paul's greatest imagination, he dreams he's Ely.
May 30
ludus
on SHINE
Every time Paul smiles, somewhere, a baby dies.
May 29
ludus
on SIMP
"Paul"
May 28
ludus
on CLOUT
Paul is the Caitlyn Jenner of clout.
May 28
ludus
on PUMP DOT FUN
Yeah, WTF bro?? More like Pump Dot MISS A DAY.
May 25
ludus
on LOUNGE
Resting is Paul's natural state. It's standing up that's the problem.
May 25
ludus
on FRESH START
How many fresh starts does Paul need? One for every day of his life.
May 24
ludus
on STRUM
Paul's acoustic, I'm electric, baby.
May 22
ludus
on SWERVING
Paul's at his worst when he "has control."
May 22
ludus
on LEARN 2 LOVE AGAIN
...don't use numbers in place of words, please. Paul gets confused.
May 21
ludus
on JOURNAL ENTRY #1
"Dear Diary, today I found my pee pee." -Paul
May 20
ludus
on RAINBOW ROAD
Paul is the only person to get rugged while finding the end of a rainbow. No pot of gold, only a pot of SHAME.
May 19
ludus
on BEHOLDER
In Paul's case, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... cause you gotta be DRUNK ASS to think he's pretty.
May 17
ludus
on TRUST ISSUES
If there's one thing Paul has created in me, it's Trust Issues.
May 16
ludus
on HEADS UP
Heads, Paul is a dork. Tails, Paul is a dork.
May 15
ludus
on ZORB
Paul thinks Star Wars Episode One is the best Star Wars movie.
May 14
ludus
on PUMP CYCLE
Paul's pump cycle is every 5-7 years or so.
May 13
ludus
on ROARING KITTY
Paul's life goal is to make a kitty roar. Or even meow. Or even to see a kitty.
May 13
ludus
on A MOTHER'S TOUCH 
Paul's mom is SO DUMB...

She gave birth to Paul. 

::rim shot::
May 11
ludus
on WARP
"Warp Speed" -- the nickname given to Paul by all of his sexual partners.
May 11
ludus
on DRILL
...wait, IS it a drill? Paul's acting like it's not a drill, but I thought it was a drill. Also, where's my frontal lobe?
May 10
ludus
on RGB
My favorite color is Corduroy.
May 08
ludus
on SIDE QUEST
"This wasn't planned" -- what is this? A QUOTE FROM PAUL'S MOM??
May 07
ludus
on FANTASY TOP
Paul's fantasy... isn't to be a top.
May 06
ludus
on WRAP BEEF
Paul is the Drake to my Kendrick.
May 06
ludus
on CINCO
Paul tiene una cara como un pene y un pene como un caracol.
May 05
ludus
on SN
Paul Sux Nutz
May 04
ludus
on AIR DROP
I’m gonna air drop Paul into a Volcano
May 02
ludus
on VELVET
Paul's velvet gloves are crusty... they stink of tears, sweat, rejection, and buckets of self-loathing.
May 02
ludus
on TO THE MOON
The Moon = The one place where Paul might actually be the smartest person around.
May 01
ludus
on E-MOTION
My mom didn't let me watch Bambi because we "weren't allowed to watch violent movies."
Apr 29
ludus
on LINK UP
Paul so dumb, he asked if I wanted to link down.
Apr 29
ludus
on HIGH ROAD
I'll accept today's song as a chance to take... you get it.
Apr 27
ludus
on TIME WILL TELL
Will Paul ever copulate?? #TimeWillTell
Apr 26
ludus
on TOUCH GRASS
::Paul rushes to remove the letters G and R from his vocabulary::
Apr 25
ludus
on STRING THEORY
In physics, string theory is a theoretical framework in which the point-like particles of particle physics are replaced by one-dimensional objects called strings.

Paul's junk is a one-dimensional object.
Apr 25
ludus
on WISH YOU WELL
I wish Paul (would fall down a) well!
Apr 23
ludus
on NEON DRIVE
All Paul's "blasts" are in the past, now. RIP Paul's sexual escapades.
Apr 22
ludus
on BET ON ME
Someone bet on Paul once... RIP, that guy.
Apr 21
ludus
on COFFEE BREAK
"Coffee Break" is what Paul's romantic partners ask for every time he gets... amorous.
Apr 21
ludus
on THE HALVING
"Halving" is what Paul's doctor recommended for his BMI.
Apr 19
ludus
on FIGHT NIGHT
"Fight Night," aka, "Paul's name for first dates."
Apr 19
ludus
on HIGH HOPES
The closest Paul ever got to High Hopes was not belly-flopping the one meter diving board.
Apr 18
ludus
on SERUM
Paul drank a mutant serum once... it made him far better looking.
Apr 16
ludus
on LIQUIDITY CRISIS
"Liquidity Crisis" is what Paul's girlfriend had.
Apr 16
ludus
on THE VAULT
The vault is what Paul calls his pants… because nothing ever gets in there.
Apr 14
ludus
on FACE OFF
Paul is far more "cow" than "bull."
Apr 13
ludus
on BLOOD IN THE STREETS
Paul's sperm count is a negative number.
Apr 12
ludus
on KISS ME
Paul has four toes on his left foot.
Apr 11
ludus
on RUNESTONE
Paul is the Rat Queen.
Apr 10
ludus
on PACMOON
Paul = half-vowel, half-consonant... all man.
Apr 10
ludus
on RIPPLE EFFECT
Paul thinks Jack in the Box tacos count as Mexican food.
Apr 08
ludus
on ECLIPSE
Paul was my personal savior on the road to Damascus.
Apr 07
ludus
on MOGMELLO
Paul is Zaddy.
Apr 06
ludus
on AFTERMATH
On the 7th day, God didn't rest, he fine-tuned Paul.
Apr 06
ludus
on EARTHQUAKE
Truth be told, Paul is a far better version of me.
Apr 04
ludus
on CHECK UP
BACK IN FULL EFFECT. Paul has revived my passion for the Rat King.
Apr 04
ludus
on NEW YORK SAME ME
Paul is better than me… today.
Apr 02
ludus
on SLICE OF LIFE
...I found your mom's!
Apr 01
ludus
on SUPER CYCLE
Paul is the RFK Jr of web3.
Mar 31
ludus
on HABBITS
Paul likes cats.
Mar 30
ludus
on HIGHER
Paul measures his hundred meter dash in hours and his vertical in micrometers.
Mar 29
ludus
on REFLECTION
Paul is a cheesemonger.
Mar 27
ludus
on GRAPEFRUIT
Paul causes market crashes.
Mar 26
ludus
on NEW SZN
Paul was birthed from the remnants of a well-used gym sock.
Mar 25
ludus
on PROBABLY NOTHING
Paul only has nine fingers.
Mar 24
ludus
on RAT RACE
I ride shiny and chrome to Valhalla. Paul will never be witnessed.
Mar 23
ludus
on CALL OF MUTATIO
If you mutate Paul, you get a handsome, functional man.
Mar 22
ludus
on TRANCE
On the first day, God created Paul. And he was so depressed by what he had wrought, he became a sandwich maker in Omaha.
Mar 21
ludus
on FREQUENCYWIFHAT
Paul's father is a burrito, and his mother is a stick of butter.
Mar 20
ludus
on BASED
Paul is made of cream cheese and regret.
Mar 19
ludus
on MOG
Paul grew from an acorn.
Mar 18
ludus
on ACTIVATE
PAUL IS A FAKE PERSON.
Mar 17
ludus
on TIME 2 CLIMB
PAUL ISN'T REAL.

✕
Mint