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goldegg

✎ 104 0 0 ⏷ NEW COMMENTS
Jul 31
goldegg 3x
on DATE OF DEATH
Congrats Ely! You have achieved what nobody has ever achieved before. 💯 mints is epic!

And Seize, you will always be #1 in my book. 🖕🏼
Jul 30
goldegg 3x
on PENULTIMATE
I got 99 problems... and Seize is 98 of them
Jul 24
goldegg 3x
on AURA
Seize's aura invokes the smell & feel of Amber Heard's mattress
Jul 16
goldegg 3x
on RECOVERY
I will never recover from this Frequencies campaign. 100 days of being mogged by Seize is too much for any mere mortal to withstand.
Jul 15
goldegg 3x
on LAST CALL
Whenever I need advice, I call those I know in order of intelligence. Seize is always the Last Call.
Jul 05
goldegg 3x
on PUDGY SUMMER
I am going to miss Seize after this collection mints out. And by "miss", I mean I will go out of my way to avoid him at every opportunity.
Jun 28
goldegg 3x
on SEIZING APOSTLE PAUL
Seize who?
Jun 27
goldegg 3x
on WHAT A BLAST
farming Blast was fun, but not as fun as minting here daily and seeing Seize obsess over my sex life (or lack thereof)
Jun 25
goldegg 3x
on GUMMY
Seize once lost a fight with a bear. A gummy bear. (ba-dum-tss)
Jun 23
goldegg 3x
on NIGHT DRIVE
I drive just like I drink. Alone. And dangerously.
Jun 20
goldegg 3x
on BREEZE
there is nothing better than traveling at a decent speed, knowing that with each passing moment you are getting farther and farther away from Seize
Jun 19
goldegg 3x
on GIGANTIC REBIRTH
Let's all hope Seize does not have a rebirth. His being born once was already one too many times.
Jun 18
goldegg 3x
on NUB
way too easy, I'll pass on calling a NUB a NUB
Jun 17
goldegg 3x
on ENERGY
"Can You Feel It?" is a question Seize learned long ago that he should never ask his partners.
Jun 14
goldegg 3x
on REVERT
Seize's "old ways" involve: stealing toys from orphanages, rooting for the hunters in Bambi, and wiping back to front.
Jun 13
goldegg 3x
on SNAKES IN THE GRASS
Seize is more dangerous than a snake. But not as pretty.
Jun 11
goldegg 3x
on PANIC SELL
I panic HODL
Jun 11
goldegg 3x
on SHERBERT
As a little kid, I loved orange sherbert. That's it. No punchline. No follow up. I just liked it.
Jun 10
goldegg 3x
on ELEMENTS
"No Air" - what teammates of Seize say when they see his lack of vert
Jun 08
goldegg 3x
on EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE
Seize would never Pay In Full. In fact he goes to KFC to lick other people's fingers. And when it is cold he huddles around a candle. If it's really cold, he might even light the candle. Yeah, Seize is cheap AF.
Jun 06
goldegg 3x
on CROOKED TEETH
I warned Seize previously about eating cabbage through that chain-link fence. One day he will listen to good advice.
Jun 05
goldegg 3x
on HEAVEN OR HELL
Easy choice: I choose the one without Seize
Jun 05
goldegg 3x
on FINISH LINE
Seize was excited he could finish the puzzle in 2 days. The box said 3 - 5 years!
Jun 03
goldegg 3x
on BLOCKED
"BLOCKED" = what happens to Seize after he sends unsolicited DMs to females
May 30
goldegg 3x
on FOR THE RECORD
Seize has the imagination of a child. And the IQ of a child as well.
May 30
goldegg 3x
on SHINE
When Seize smiles it looks like he is about to eat a cabbage through a chainlink fence.
May 29
goldegg 3x
on SIMP
Don't underestimate Seize's ability to simp. They don't call him the whiteknight incel for nothing.
May 28
goldegg 3x
on CLOUT
No clout + no rizz = bussy Seize
May 28
goldegg 3x
on PUMP DOT FUN
Today's comment is dedicated to Ely missing yesterday. WTF bro?
May 26
goldegg 3x
on LOUNGE
I honestly wish nothing but the best for Seize. Sadly, God had other ideas.
May 25
goldegg 3x
on FRESH START
Seize is scared of two things: Lights and People
May 24
goldegg 3x
on STRUM
Seize is tone deaf
May 22
goldegg 3x
on SWERVING
Seize doesn't really "lose control" ...but rather he just starts involuntarily slobbering with his mouth agape
May 21
goldegg 3x
on LEARN 2 LOVE AGAIN
Seize is scarred in more ways than you could ever imagine. I pray for him daily.
May 21
goldegg 3x
on JOURNAL ENTRY #1
Seize has a journal to record all of his sexual encounters. Hopefully one day he will be able to start writing in it.
May 19
goldegg 3x
on RAINBOW ROAD 120 fps
I would never waste a Blue shell on Seize, regardless of the track.
May 19
goldegg 3x
on BEHOLDER
In the land of the blind, Seize was voted most beautiful.
May 17
goldegg 3x
on TRUST ISSUES
There's only one thing in life that I trust 100%, and that is that Seize will be a disappointment to anyone and everyone.
May 16
goldegg 3x
on HEADS UP
The Star Wars character Jar Jar Binks was based in large part on Seize. George Lucas had once bumped into him on the street, where Seize was begging randos for spare change. Seize's appearance and speaking mannerisms left a lasting impression.
May 15
goldegg 3x
on ZORB
there's nothing more VALUABLE than bring FREE of Seize
May 14
goldegg 3x
on PUMP CYCLE
Seize's pump cycle is exactly 4 hours. 30 minutes for the little blue pill to take effect. And 3.5 hours at the ER describing to the nurses that he really did meet a girl online even though she never showed up.
May 13
goldegg 3x
on ROARING KITTY
Seize thinks Keith Gill was a founding member of New Edition
May 13
goldegg 3x
on A MOTHER'S TOUCH
Seize is the biggest Mother I know
May 11
goldegg 3x
on WARP
While Seize is correct about the nickname my partners have given me, it completely ignores the fact that my partners are real, unpaid, consenting, and are not my relatives. Sadly, Seize cannot say the same.
May 11
goldegg 3x
on DRILL
"THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" - the exact phrase used during Seize's court-ordered, childhood monthly visits to the lobotomist.
May 09
goldegg 3x
on RGB
Seize's favorite color is Corduroy
May 08
goldegg 3x
on SIDE QUEST 
Seize's conception was a "Side Quest"

The mission was a total failure.
May 08
goldegg 3x
on FANTASY TOP
Seize sharing his fantasies on a Zora mint page is a desperate cry for help.
May 06
goldegg 3x
on WRAP BEEF
Seize is the Vanilla Ice to my NWA
May 06
goldegg 3x
on CINCO
¡Salud!
May 05
goldegg 3x
on SN
Happy Saturday Night to Seize and his new love, Jenny Tulworts
May 04
goldegg 3x
on AIR DROP
Seize is my best friend.
May 02
goldegg 3x
on VELVET
Seize's wardrobe is 100% velvet shirts and corduroy shorts. God bless him.
May 02
goldegg 3x
on TO THE MOON
Let's send Seize to the moon. I'll pay for the one-way trip.
May 01
goldegg 3x
on E-MOTION
Seize laughed watching Bambi.
Apr 29
goldegg 3x
on LINK UP
No missing link jokes, no chained up insults... today is a day of peace. Love to all.
Apr 29
goldegg 3x
on HIGH ROAD
I have seen Seize take the high road many times. It's the path the Short Bus he is riding on takes every day. If you look closely enough, you most likely can see him licking the windows. They really should have him harnessed in for his own safety.
Apr 27
goldegg 3x
on TIME WILL TELL
Seize asked his doctor: "Will I always resemble the syphilitic aborted remains of a Mongolian gangbang?" To which the doctor replied, "TIME WILL TELL"
Apr 26
goldegg 3x
on TOUCH GRASS
When Seize touches grass, he first has to look around carefully to make sure Park security officers aren't in range of seeing him.
Apr 25
goldegg 3x
on STRING THEORY
String Theory, AKA the supposition that Seize can get an erection
Apr 24
goldegg 3x
on WISH YOU WELL
I wish Seize well every chance I get. One of these days I hope it works.
Apr 24
goldegg 3x
on NEON DRIVE
Seize's obsession with my sexual activity is both interesting and disturbing. Which is the same way many people describe his overgrown back hair.
Apr 22
goldegg 3x
on BET ON ME
Rip from Yellowstone? He's a cool dude. Unlike Jamie, the guy Seize models himself after.
Apr 21
goldegg 3x
on COFFEE BREAK
To Seize, a coffee break is that period of the work day where his lack of production is actually justified.
Apr 20
goldegg 3x
on THE HALVING
"The Halving" is what they call the night Seize ate his Conjoined twin while still in the womb.
Apr 19
goldegg 3x
on FIGHT NIGHT
"Fight Night," aka, "Seize's struggle to have a successful Fap evening"
Apr 19
goldegg 3x
on HIGH HOPES
Every time Seize attacks me a dolphin in heaven gets their angel wings
Apr 18
goldegg 3x
on SERUM
Seize thought a vegetarian was a vegetable doctor.
Apr 16
goldegg 3x
on LIQUIDITY CRISIS
If ignorance is bliss, Seize must be overjoyed.
Apr 16
goldegg 3x
on THE VAULT
Seize’s spirit animal is a fat raccoon trying to get inside a dumpster.
Apr 14
goldegg 3x
on FACE OFF
Seize has a lot of hidden talents. Hopefully one day he will be able to find them.
Apr 13
goldegg 3x
on BLOOD IN THE STREETS
Statistically speaking, Seize was probably born on a highway. Because that's where most accidents happen.
Apr 12
goldegg 3x
on KISS ME
Seize still roots for OJ Simpson.
Apr 11
goldegg 3x
on RUNESTONE
I would tell a few jokes about Seize's career, but none of them work well.
Apr 10
goldegg 3x
on PACMOON
Seize doesnt play PacMan because he is too scared of ghosts
Apr 09
goldegg 3x
on RIPPLE EFFECT
Seize is the reason Taco Bell discontinued the Mexi-Nuggets menu item.
Apr 08
goldegg 3x
on ECLIPSE
Hi
Apr 07
goldegg 3x
on MOGMELLO
Contrary to popular belief, Seize does not suffer from insanity. He enjoys every second of it.
Apr 06
goldegg 3x
on AFTERMATH
I once advised Seize to just be himself. I guess that was a pretty mean thing for me to say.
Apr 05
goldegg
on EARTHQUAKE
Another day, another frequency!
Apr 04
goldegg 3x
on CHECK UP
This will be my last comment until Seize comes out of hiding
Apr 03
goldegg 5x
on NEW YORK SAME ME
Today is Golden Egg day, and despite staring at his calendar non-stop - Seize still cant find it
Apr 02
0x58d2 5x
on SLICE OF LIFE
April is national clitoris month, and despite looking at his calendar non-stop, Seize still can't find it.
Apr 01
0x58d2 5x
on SUPER CYCLE
I love Cheryl Hines
Mar 31
0x58d2 5x
on HABBITS
Seize doesn't like puppies
Mar 30
0x58d2 5x
on HIGHER
Seize dips his fries in pickle juice
Mar 29
0x58d2
on REFLECTION
it's true, I love cheese
Mar 28
0x58d2 5x
on DEGEN Ⓓ
Seize has a tramp stamp inked on his left hand
Mar 27
0x58d2 5x
on GRAPEFRUIT
Someday Seize will go far. And I really hope he stays there.
Mar 26
0x58d2
on NEW SZN
Seize ate one of my fingers
Mar 25
0x58d2
on PROBABLY NOTHING
Seize is impossible to underestimate
Mar 24
0x58d2 25x
on 1988
in Jack we trust
Mar 24
0x58d2 5x
on RAT RACE
in a world where anyone can be anything, I will never understand why Seize chose to be mediocre
Mar 23
0x58d2 25x
on 1988
ftc
Mar 23
0x58d2
on CALL OF MUTATIO
Seize wipes back-to-front
Mar 22
0x58d2 5x
on TRANCE
Seize swims with a T-shirt on
Mar 21
0x58d2 5x
on FREQUENCYWIFHAT
Seize, your web3 accomplishments have impressed many. The zookeeper who raised you must be so proud!
Mar 20
0x58d2 5x
on BASED
no shade, just shine today
Mar 19
0x58d2 5x
on MOG
Seize's obsession with Nuts continues to plague web3
Mar 18
0x58d2 5x
on ACTIVATE
Does Seize own a Golden Egg?
Mar 17
0x58d2 10x
on TIME 2 CLIMB
oh I'm Real, and I'm spectacular !
Mar 17
0x58d2 10x
on TIME 2 CLIMB
Oh I'm real, and I'm spectacular!
Mar 17
0x58d2 10x
on DATE OF BIRTH
where Seize?
Mar 17
0x58d2 10x
on DATE OF BIRTH
where Seize?

✕
Mint