Week 10 of the book The Artist's Way helps the reader search out the toxic patterns we cling to that block our creative flow. In this chapter, it became evident that its my self talk. When ever I get excited to do something, or feel really creative to start a project, my thoughts get in the way. The exercises were powerful, especially "Setting a Bottom Line" and her explanations of "Droughts." The dry seasons of any creative life.

Week 9 of the book The Artist’s Way challenges the reader to face their internal blocks to creativity. The main one that stood out to me here was her pro tip of not calling procrastination laziness. Call it fear. Fear is what blocks artists. I felt attacked here. The author even calls out the temptations of wanting to abandon ship at this point of the book. These thoughts have crossed my mind, especially since I have lost a bit of the consistency I had going so strong for seven weeks straight. Many times I’ve thought, I’ll get started or pick it back up next week and in the past when I’ve done this before, it has turned into months, even years.

Thankful for this chapter and wake up call. The chapter’s proposed solution: LOVE. Use love for your artist to cure its fear.

Week 8 of The Artist’s Way calls for recovering a sense of strength. A quote in this chapter that inspired this picture and really stood out to me is “all artists must learn the art of surviving loss: loss of hope, loss of face, loss of money, loss of self-belief.” As a woman, and now a mother, I have experienced that women are very fortunate and have the ultimate gift to be the portal for life. Before my daughter Eeth, my husband and I suffered a loss, a miscarriage. It was really tough. To our surprise, one month later we learned we were pregnant again. The month before, I felt loss on many levels. I felt like a failure. I felt at fault even though it wasn’t. I had loss face, hope, courage. The month before Eeth came along, I turned inward and had to face my fears. With therapy and the help of my husband, I was able to face my fears and move on. It was a big lesson for me. This chapter somehow brought me back to this moment, it was uncomfortable. Somehow at the end of the chapter, I also felt more hopeful and confident as it reminded me that to make progress I have to face my fears head on. I felt strong and inspired. The exercises in this chapter were very powerful. This week was also very interesting, as I had lots going on and took unplanned time off from writing consistently. At first, I felt defeated for breaking the streak. I reflected and realized that I can’t be so militant with myself. I need balance and flexibility. I gave myself grace for taking this time, and two weeks later I started writing daily again and kept up with the exercises in the book. This chapter was the heaviest for me so far, holding the biggest lessons. Looking back, it all makes sense.

In week 7, "the essays, exercises, and tasks aim at excavating areas of genuine creative interest as you connect with your personal dreams." In this chapter I did just that. I've always wanted to fly, get a pilot's license. I always heard it was too expensive and seemed so out of reach. I did some research, and actually, is very approachable. So I signed up, and flew an airplane for the first time. It's the start of a new journey.

In week 6, the book has you "tackle a major creative block– money." The exercises in this chapter were really unique, and asked me to think about money in a way I had never thought about before. In one of the exercises, most of my answers had a negative association with money. That was eye opening. I also enjoyed how this chapter gave me tasks to find natural abundance in my surroundings, for example it asked me to find five pretty or interesting rocks, and to pick five flowers or leaves. This simple exercise was so powerful in reminding me that abundance is all around us. Abundance is a mindset. This chapter shifted me back to vibrate in the frequency of abundance. This week, I hiked the Narrows in Zion National Park, Utah where I took this picture. There, I was surrounded by the abundance of nature. During the hike, sometimes I was so focused on looking down where I was stepping, as walking in knee high water through slippery rocks can be tricky. When I remembered to look up to see where I was, I felt so silly for walking with my head down for so long. It was a good lesson, abundance is all around me, I just have to look for it and I will find it.

Week 4 calls for "recovering a sense of integrity." The exercises in this chapter are mean to "catapult you into productive introspection and integration on new self-awareness." The biggest task, aside from continuing the ritual of daily journaling, is to do reading deprivation. No reading, no social media, for the whole week. It was challenging, and very rewarding. I spent more time outdoors, reflected on the things that bring me joy via the prompts in this chapter, which led me to this picture. I was in Molokai, HI surfing. I caught this wave, and wiped out. I didn't catch many waves this day, but I was so happy. I'm so happy being outside. This week I made it a point to be outside with my family, spent a lot of time at the beach. Saw hearts everywhere, in rocks, in a bubble in my matcha, the best one was a heart shape made by three palm trees.

Week 3 calls for "recovering a sense of power." The author does this by asking the reader to complete phrases such as "my favorite childhood toy was..." "my favorite childhood game was..." "my most cheer-me-up music is..." These phrases are meant to help retrieve memories and misplaced fragments of yourself. There are a total of 20 phrases to complete. For some answers, I hadn't thought about those things in ages. It was a really powerful exercise. I thought a lot about myself and the things that made me happy. Many of the phrases took me back to before I was five years old. It reminded me how much I loved to ride my bike, which I still do. I found this old picture and when I saw it, it made me smile. I thought, that's still me.

Week 2 calls for "recovering a sense of identity." Part of what inspired me to start the journey with this book, is that when I transitioned into motherhood, I left a big piece of me behind. I've been feeling lost. This week I was encouraged to reflect, remember, and dream. I realized I hadn't gone rock climbing in 8 years! I hadn't gone salsa dancing in 5 years, I hadn't done things that make me feel alive, happy, free in ages. Why? I somehow forgot. So this week I did it all. I rock climbed, danced, worked out, and boy am I sore.

Feels good.

In the book the Artist's Way, the author asks the reader to write 3 pages of whatever comes to mind, a brain dump, every morning for 12 weeks straight. She calls them morning pages. I was intimidated. To my surprise, by the end of week one I discovered I like to write. I actually look forward to writing my morning pages.