As it may have been obvious, I've been on a solo trip for the last month and a half. My partner, Cannon (saiko) is also on a solo trip.
As much as I've gained on an individual level from this time a part, I've learned on an even deeper level how much I value the connection I have with this person.
He is truly my life lover and my friend.
Someone I can trust completely and that trust is not an easy thing to come by..
Through all of the amazing highs and equally paralyzing lows, I've realized that it's the real connections that matter when all is said and done. Those are the ones you can recall in moments of despair. The memories, the small moments shared that you can take with you in the dark times.
There are a few others who came to my heart during these time, but I understand that there is still time and experiences to be shared to build truly long lasting and caring relationships.
When I started this trip over a month ago, one of my main focuses was connecting deeply with others. I did do this, but more importantly I've realized where my desire for this deep connection stems from. I won't indulge too much on that, but to say the least, I have the tools needed to mine for the gold & diamonds<3
Every single human is special, they have their unique purpose, even if I don't agree with it. I must fully embrace my purpose so that there is no doubt about who I'm surrounded by and who choses to come into my life.
This mint is an affirmation of my knowing and accepting that the people meant to be in my life will be there, I won't need to force it or be confused. This goes for blood related or not.
I fully embrace this 🩸
p.s. I love you like no other Cannon and I can't wait to meet your gaze again 🥰
When I was looking for a song to record this time I was choosing based on the atmosphere (a bar in London) but also one that I feel is most present to my current emotional state.
Last night I had a crippling wave of pain wash over me, since I ended my journey through Italy I've been hit with these waves of intense emotion and feelings of hopelessness and I know this means I'm breaking through on something. But in order to actually break through, I have to be as present with the pain as much as possible so that I can actually process what is trying to come through me.
So 'Ocean' is very significant to where I am at right now. Sometimes it feels like you're drowning in the weight of it all, but when you stop struggling and panicking, you realize the bottom of the Ocean is quite beautiful.
This joy is what will make you lighter, light enough to float back to the surface <3
When I made this song I was in my car in Chattanooga,TN and it was raining outside. At the end of the recording, you can hear the rain, this is not an effect lol.
This song fully encapsulates a toxic relationship I had been in for a while, but decided to leave about 6 months prior to recording this. He was my first of many things, both good and mostly bad. It was a very painful experience and this song was me looking face to face with it.
Understanding that he wasn't the root cause, but actually, I was..deciding to stay when I should have left..we've all been here.
Any relationship is simply a mirror of you and your own experiences. I learned a lot through this person and I'm forever grateful for the time I spent, because the pain he exposed will always be my reminder to continue on my path of healing.
damatta
Leaves Turn 📍 Scotland
As much as I've gained on an individual level from this time a part, I've learned on an even deeper level how much I value the connection I have with this person.
He is truly my life lover and my friend.
Someone I can trust completely and that trust is not an easy thing to come by..
Through all of the amazing highs and equally paralyzing lows, I've realized that it's the real connections that matter when all is said and done. Those are the ones you can recall in moments of despair. The memories, the small moments shared that you can take with you in the dark times.
There are a few others who came to my heart during these time, but I understand that there is still time and experiences to be shared to build truly long lasting and caring relationships.
When I started this trip over a month ago, one of my main focuses was connecting deeply with others. I did do this, but more importantly I've realized where my desire for this deep connection stems from. I won't indulge too much on that, but to say the least, I have the tools needed to mine for the gold & diamonds<3
Every single human is special, they have their unique purpose, even if I don't agree with it. I must fully embrace my purpose so that there is no doubt about who I'm surrounded by and who choses to come into my life.
This mint is an affirmation of my knowing and accepting that the people meant to be in my life will be there, I won't need to force it or be confused. This goes for blood related or not.
I fully embrace this 🩸
p.s. I love you like no other Cannon and I can't wait to meet your gaze again 🥰
Ocean 📍 London, England
Last night I had a crippling wave of pain wash over me, since I ended my journey through Italy I've been hit with these waves of intense emotion and feelings of hopelessness and I know this means I'm breaking through on something. But in order to actually break through, I have to be as present with the pain as much as possible so that I can actually process what is trying to come through me.
So 'Ocean' is very significant to where I am at right now. Sometimes it feels like you're drowning in the weight of it all, but when you stop struggling and panicking, you realize the bottom of the Ocean is quite beautiful.
This joy is what will make you lighter, light enough to float back to the surface <3
Wake Up! 📍In Paris
Oh ever day is a new day
Can’t complain the blue sky so gay
Oh I watch them fade away with my eyes shut
Watch every day as they turn away
O who’s to say what to do next
go take it by the reigns don’t let it rest
Wake up!
It's a test of your faith when you walk away
Wake up!
It's all you want to say at the end of the day
If it's all you got then its all you want
Yes, its all you got
When there is nothing else
Wake up!
This was probably the 5th song I ever made. Also the first song I ever got a hater with!
"@lipggloss2586
3 years ago
I hate to say it but you need Audio tuning to your voice it’s nice but you need it"
P.s. It wasn't the last...
Video Credits: Equal Rights Apparel
Death of Me 📍 Venice, Italy
This song fully encapsulates a toxic relationship I had been in for a while, but decided to leave about 6 months prior to recording this. He was my first of many things, both good and mostly bad. It was a very painful experience and this song was me looking face to face with it.
Understanding that he wasn't the root cause, but actually, I was..deciding to stay when I should have left..we've all been here.
Any relationship is simply a mirror of you and your own experiences. I learned a lot through this person and I'm forever grateful for the time I spent, because the pain he exposed will always be my reminder to continue on my path of healing.
'Death of Me' means I can never return to her.