I posted a short snippet of this on socials (when you get to 3:08 in you’ll see my captions for dat) but wanted to share the full here :3

This was my first season with Vancouver’s Universal Gospel Choir (led by Lonnie Delisle), and singing this solo definitely stretched my vocal range. I wanted to document this stage in my vocal transition here - I’m now about 4 years on testosterone. You can tell the first verse is at the low end of my access, and the high notes I play with in the run are the high end. So much fun getting to flow and explore my new instrument. I love being a man, and getting to show up as a male vocalist in this context was a first for me. Feeling super grateful for this queer-led faith-based music community :)

Almost all Western music has roots in Spirituals, with Gospel being one of the earliest descendants. This genre embodies the transmutation of struggle into faith, and pain into joy. The way the sound resonates in my body is unlike any other form of music, and I’m so grateful to our Black community for gifting these genres to us, enabling access to these feelings of empowerment and celebration. <333

filmed by Warren Dean Flandez, Sat. Dec. 14th, 2024.
My mom was in the audience :3

This came after a szn of a lot of loneliness for me, so being invited to perform this song felt very serendipitous and healing xx

Recorded vocals atop a hill I've been visiting since my childhood. Finally figured out my mix rig - yet now EQing the vox to sound like the iPhone recordings cuz that high end was just so crispy !! Sitting by a pile of bones that was once a coyote carcass...birds of prey and talkative swallows flying above, below and beside me. The Okanagan sage sharp at my thighs, the dry grass a pouf for my butt to slowly numb on. I remember coming across the Coyote a couple years ago, still furry and whole. What a beautiful place to lay down and die. This song may sound "sad" but its just my heart rich with the tender wonder of being alive. The conviction that inner peace is the root of all justice burns in me quietly, pure and whole. In a couple years, when all the albums I'm in the process of releasing are out; I'll sit down with an engineer and some great players and produce this song - this group of songs I'm creating - get em rite n tite. The album will be called Eshua, my middle name, given to me by Pleiadian demonstration. I'll get Corus and someone's grandma to play some traditional flute where these samples are. For now, here's this dem0. I struggled a bit with the drums...once I took off the verb they got more decent. And it's okay with me that they're imperfect - it's actually...better. Because in a couple years, I'll come back and be able to track my progress; and what's more satisfying than incremental improvement? Certainly not immediate perfection. This period in my life is the first when I can't wait to wake up and produce the music I'm making. This music feels so me...like all my years and phases of songwriting are fusing together into something I can stand not just behind, but within, deeply, as well. The walls of my vocations are coming together, as CY predicted 😊 Could cry with joy and hope and wonder. Learning to love music as a guide post to the spirit of Silence's unconditional embrace. Blowing my mind. Arrival. --- Lyrics: CHORUS I don’t look outside When I’m tryna find My own peace of mind VERSE 1 Silence’s psychedelic therapy Vibrating forks make up my symphony Warm cedar Is the scent of God’s Cologne Walls of wounding fused - Til the cuts don’t hurt no more - Free the people, save them Save the planet, free the children The battle cry of all I have ever known But I know inner peace will Save us. CHORUS So I don’t look outside When I’m tryna find The cure for violence - My own peace of mind Is for all humankind VERSE 2 I bet I can conjure anything I so wanna be able to bring To the land I’m on And all the beings who Share this place With God and I - Til the love don’t hurt no more - I’ll spread it telepathically Sign my signature upon the breeze And core of the Earth Claim it as my home Cuz I know that this place/peace will Save us. CHORUS So I don’t look outside When I’m tryna find The cure for violence - My own peace of mind Is for all humankind OUTRO The cure for violence Is in silence The cure for violence Is inside of me

a short from me + Shiva's first Godcast, where I share what happens when I give ppl energy healinggg :3

--- Now for my journal ---

In a bit of a clarity crisis rn...what IS my purpose? What is ENOUGH impact? What is a mission I can dedicate my life to, that I can feel such certainty about that it jolts me out of bed in the mornings?

This feeling of not creating big "enough" positive impact...craving purpose, and clarity of *external* mission, is kickin up rn fr.

If (and when?) Ai can do everything humans do better than us (including ideate, empathize, invent, and maybe even energy heal??)...what sense of purpose will save my soul then? How can I solve for that now, and share it with the world, who will no doubt feel something similar in their own lives?

The only thing that comes to mind as being of-purpose when everything else is expertly taken care of in the approaching Ai era, is raising my vibration to uplift Earth's energy field. It always comes back to that, eh … so simple. Yet so complex.

"TO OPEN" - A MEDITATION MUSICAL by Forrest Mortifee

I hope that this piece transforms any feelings of loneliness, isolation and depression into hope, self-love and open-heartedness. 🫂🫂🫂

This is my first time experimenting with this format! I've coined it a "Meditation Musical" because it blends song, affirmation, and meditation...three of my favourite healing hacks.

This format aims to provide empathy for the listener's experiences of pain through a heartache-soaked song; then, through the affirmations + meditation, it seeks to provide subsequent emotional support for the feelings that the song brought up for processing.

I feel like I'm tapping into my Ikigai! Through bringing in the voice of Unconditional Love, and opening space for integration, this Meditation Musical offers ME a well-rounded emotional processing experience - and I hope it does the same for you. 🫶🏻🫶🏻

I rarely listen to sad songs (or even that much music tbh) because after they bring me into my tenderheartedness, I just get left there. However with this format, I provide myself (and listeners) with the same soothing balm that I use in my own shadow + parts work processes. This makes me feel safe to dive into the depths of the darkness, when I know there will be a subsequent process to transmute whatever I find therewithin. This shows up both in the songwriting phase, and in the listening-back phase…which are two different experiences for me.

I see this as a necessary evolution of the way we consume music - creating safe landing pads for the emotions brought up through song. I also see it as an important evolution of meditative practices - creating space for the tougher emotions to be safely felt, seen, and processed. The experience of creating this has actually given me a much better appreciation for the Utility of (Listening to) Music as a Tool for Healing. It’s clicking, you guyssss…

Thank you for being here, and lmk below what this Meditation Musical experience was like for you ☺️

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"TO OPEN" - A MEDITATION MUSICAL © 2024 Forrest Mortifee
All music and lyrics by me.
Audio created in Logic using samples I found on Splice, as well as (ofc) my own voice and breath.
Video created in Descript using stock footage.

My name is Forrest Mortifee (he/him), and I’m a Certified Intuitive Life Coach and Teacher of Mind-Body-Spirit Medicine. I’m also a man of trans experience, a vocal artist, and a survivor of domestic abuse, attempted suicide, and various other side quests. This work has turned my life around and made me the thriving version of myself that I am today. That's why I'm so passionate about it (!!) and why I'm offering it to you, to transform your own triggers into bright evolution. This is courageous work, not for the faint of heart...I see you <333 and thank you for being here.
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The process I share in this workbook is one that’s been inspired by Kyle Cease, Richard Schwartz, and by my own father Peter Mortifee. Over years of my own personal work with these processes, I have adapted them into the version I’m offering here now.
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My intention is to support you in befriending your own inner Shadows, to uncover their gifts, and to grow past the blockages that held you back in the past. By building a bridge between these Shadows and your own Higher Self, may you gain access to the Unconditional Love that is omnipresent within you. I hope that this process transforms your life experience, as it has transformed mine :3
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WITH LOVE !!
xx
Forrest