No matter what I do or what costume I wear, I have similar people who follow me. Disturbing beings who have mastered staying closer than my shadow, repeating my every move like forgotten martial arts masters. I tried to attack them and threaten them dozens of times, but they always managed to scare me. They speak in languages that I do not speak or know; They have the strength to lift weights that I have never tried before and the speed to deliver hundreds of blows to my face. Before I even realize what's happening, they can knock me down, step on me, and take all the air out of my abdominal cavity.
They have more tattoos and hair on their bodies than I do. Each of their tattoos transforms from color to color and shape to shape, as if they were created with extraterrestrial inks. I sometimes tried to tell them to others, but the people who loved me blushed at the ridiculous situation I found myself in. Now that I have given up on this unrewarded effort, I promised myself that I would not do this anymore. Still, I would like someone, even just one person, to believe me and be able to see the eyes watching me right behind me or in the corner of a wall ahead. I would like the echoes to be heard when I speak, and for someone to notice the horror of the mouths repeating what I say.
I embodied everything in my mind, pulling them into reality and trapping them in my entire boring life. Now they are no different than victims locked in a serial killer's room. Of course, I would like to host them in a room with cleaner walls, in a house with pleasant smells, and in an apartment whose corridors are not dirty with dirt. I would like to let them sleep on soft pillows and give them hot meals when they get hungry. I wish they would see flowers in front of them when their eyelids opened, and wake up to the humming sounds as mysterious as shallow waters. The giant, dark creature inside me won't allow any of this. It tries to take over every place and every body with its limbs that have a fluid spirit.
I have tusked beings chasing furry animals jumping over wooden fences. The ingrown hairs on my nerve endings and hair follicles are as full of blood as bite size. I'm dancing to an atomic bomb ready to explode. I'm trying to fall asleep in the strong smell of rotting things and catch up on the next day. I live with a pain that travels inside me and will not stop tearing my upper body to pieces in order to get out. I have an integrity that grows instead of shrinking as it disintegrates, and the ties between them become tighter as they move further away from each other. My inner voice, which I try to listen to, has given up hope on me and is looking for other solutions.
*Melancholia: A term used in Ancient Greece to describe deep sadness or depression. This word was used to define a mood disorder believed to be caused by an excess of black bile (melas).
demonegoo
Peers Who Follow Tirelessly Everywhere
They have more tattoos and hair on their bodies than I do. Each of their tattoos transforms from color to color and shape to shape, as if they were created with extraterrestrial inks. I sometimes tried to tell them to others, but the people who loved me blushed at the ridiculous situation I found myself in. Now that I have given up on this unrewarded effort, I promised myself that I would not do this anymore. Still, I would like someone, even just one person, to believe me and be able to see the eyes watching me right behind me or in the corner of a wall ahead. I would like the echoes to be heard when I speak, and for someone to notice the horror of the mouths repeating what I say.
November, 2023 by Demon Ego
A Song of Tomorrow Bathed in Black Bile
I have tusked beings chasing furry animals jumping over wooden fences. The ingrown hairs on my nerve endings and hair follicles are as full of blood as bite size. I'm dancing to an atomic bomb ready to explode. I'm trying to fall asleep in the strong smell of rotting things and catch up on the next day. I live with a pain that travels inside me and will not stop tearing my upper body to pieces in order to get out. I have an integrity that grows instead of shrinking as it disintegrates, and the ties between them become tighter as they move further away from each other. My inner voice, which I try to listen to, has given up hope on me and is looking for other solutions.
*Melancholia: A term used in Ancient Greece to describe deep sadness or depression. This word was used to define a mood disorder believed to be caused by an excess of black bile (melas).
November, 2023 by Demon Ego