you are the product of what you allow to grow in your mind. the after effect of a thought you once had. the manifestation of an idea. nothing happens before it is first imagined. some believe they can control this aspect of reality. maybe it's true.

what if we were to pass over this task? offload it onto some form of technology. why think when we can have a computer think for us? tell me what to read and watch. tell me what to wear. tell me how to feel. show me what to fear.

forget what defines you; do what it tells you.

younger me never thought to understand the almost tangible connection one could manifest with an intangible object. a video game, creative app, web browser, operating system, it's almost intuitive how they become parts of who we are—the keys that open the virtual experiences that shape us.

i didn't understand the neurological impact 'reader rabbit' would have on me when my teacher told me to play. or that my windows xp background would be ingrained in my memory forever, simultaneously a place i've been yet never visited. i didn't know social media would allow me to speak to the world but no one would hear me. that it would connect a generation yet make them feel more alone.

as a child, i would have struggled to grasp how the gradual digitization of the human experience could serve as a tool to harness our collective consciousness, and ultimately be used to create an artificial version of itself. or that a decentralized ledger would radicalize a generation of digital natives, paving the way for a true virtual economy.

back then i was just surfing the web. i've come to find out i was assimilating to a culture. expanding my consciousness within a virtual plane.

\retaliation.txt

cut, paste, blend, curves, levels, invert, copy, paste.
repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat…

would you like to know more about my process? it's very repetitive, but i consider it therapy. the end result being something like a rorschach test exposing the inner workings of my mind.

what do you see in this work?

for me, it's a childhood memory. i played a lot of command and conquer as a kid. i never won a game, but i had so much fun. thinking back, i realize just how beautiful those times were.

when do we forget how to enjoy the moment, even if it’s all futile in the end?

i’ve heard it said that design answers questions while art asks them. maybe that’s why i have so many damn questions while writing this.

anyway, i went back and replayed command and conquer later in life. I never lost a game. it was fun but it didn’t compare to the feeling I had losing as a child.

thehandthatfeedsyou.txt

i find life to be a continual series of metamorphosis. to grow you must sacrifice some aspects of your current self. it took time to reach this stage and losing what you’ve built puts fear in your heart. like a larva on a leaf, you’re meant to fly but can imagine how, subservient to the branch of life that currently provides for you.