I pass through the wooden walls with a loud sound that pierces from inside to outside, from skin to bone. It is impossible to describe my anger. I have to find new words for this. I know that because of the blows I received several times to the head, some connections in my brain were displaced and a few boards were missing. Instead of repairing them, I replaced them with metal parts. I prepared everything to make it more durable and to respond to iron objects with loud sounds.

I see the corners of your lips fluctuating between keeping silent and speaking. The spaces between your fingers and the oily smell of your hair that you haven't washed for a week make my eyes and nose tingle. I'm looking for a little something to get me going, you may have noticed. You probably feel like I have to choose my words carefully to describe how I look at you, how I feel before I start to feel sorry. I'm not a master with words, I'm desperate enough to think I can make effective speeches with just rhymes. The dark circles under my eyes were not due to lack of sleep or fatigue, but simply because I took very poor care of myself and did not care about my health. You may have noticed how wastefully I use sentences and meanings.

I was thinking of taking action, I had figured out why I needed to do this before, but I don't remember now. My forgetfulness is the greatest gift of my deteriorating health. I'm not used to things being presented in a fancy package, but I readily accepted forgetfulness because I thought that would allow me to become more careless and further distance myself from words. I could finally get to the point where I wouldn't have to talk at all. This way, I wouldn't need to engage in a dialogue between two beings, I could just continue to struggle with myself. I'm talking about possibilities, of course, because they didn't happen. Now that I have tried this, I can consider the next option, of course I will tell you what the next one is. If you're not tired of me and my empty words.

September, 2023
by Demon Ego